Communication skills are fundamental to human interaction.

Developing and refining these skills are vitally important in your developing role as a professional in the therapeutic field (Rogers 1976) and particularly in the application of hypnosis in a clinical setting.

• Many hypnosis practitioners realise that much of how indirect hypnosis works is through persuasive communications.

• Making suggestions to the client without them actually being aware that they are having suggestions made to them demonstrates the skill of a good indirect hypnosis practitioner.

• If you can get the client to believe that they came up with their own ideas and suggestions and acted on them, then you have achieved the skill of a proficient hypnotherapy practitioner.

• By paying close attention and listening actively to your client you establish rapport (Rogers 1976).

• Attention also comes from actively communicating with your client and showing them empathy by choosing their words, tones of voice and body language (see Mirroring, Pacing and Leading lesson) (Brounstein 2001).

• According to Carl Rogers, active listening involves:

“entering into the private perceptual world of the other and becoming thoroughly at home in it. It involves being sensitive, moment by moment to the changing felt meanings which flow in this other person, to the fear or rage or tenderness or confusion or whatever he or she is experiencing. It means temporarily living in the other's life” (Rogers 1995).

• Active listening means that the practitioner not only understands what a client is saying and communicating, but actively shows this through the communications that are returned to the client.

• Being empathetic means to feel 'with' the client. It is the ability of one person to step into the inner world of another person and to step out of it again without becoming that other person.

It means trying to understand the thoughts, feelings, behaviours and personal meanings from the other's internal frame of reference.

It means understanding their belief system.

• We can give our attention to our clients in a number of ways.

We can tune ourselves in to the client by using the whole self to be present with the client.

Face the speaker.

Sit up straight or lean forward slightly to show your attentiveness through body language.

Remain relaxed.

Maintain eye contact, to a degree that allows you both to remain comfortable.

Listening and hearing are two different things.

• Hearing involves the capacity to be aware and to receive sounds.

• However, actively listening to what your client has to say and responding appropriately shows that you understand.

You can acknowledge by saying "uh-huh" whilst nodding.

Where appropriate say words such as "Really," "Interesting," etc.

Be prepared to prompt, for example by asking: "What did you do then?" and "What did she say?"

• Never make assumptions about what the speaker is thinking.

• Never make assumptions about what the speaker is about to say next.

• Always allow the speaker to finish saying what they are saying before you start speaking.

• Ask questions for clarification, but, once again, wait until the speaker has finished so that you don't interrupt their train of thought.

• Good listening involves being aware of what is being communicated by means other than the words that are said.

• Therefore it is important to pay attention to facial gestures, body language, tone of voice as well as to the words that are being spoken.

• Good listening means accurately understanding the verbal and non-verbal communications being delivered by your client.

Paraphrasing and reflecting are important parts of the active listening and communication process.

• Paraphrasing means expressing the meaning of a client’s statement or series of statements in different words.

• The purpose of paraphrasing is to build trust, minimise distortion and communicate respect.

• It is not unusual to repeat rather than paraphrase a clients words but repetition can become tedious to the client.

• A good paraphrase can provide a mirror reflection to the original statement made by the client. For example:

Client: ‘I’ve had enough, she won’t study, its her exams this summer and all she wants to do is go out with her friends or watch TV. I give up.’

Practitioner: ‘Your daughter is coming up to her exams and is refusing to study and you are at a deadlock.’

• Reflecting is a paraphrase that emphasises the emotional content of the client’s communication and is seen as the main skill of active listening.

• The purpose of reflecting feelings is to convey understanding and acceptance of the client’s inner world.

• Provided you are genuine in your attempt to describe the feelings you perceive, the client will correct you if you are inaccurate.

• Sometimes a client may say ‘I feel’ when they mean ‘I think’.

• It is important to clarify the client’s thoughts and feelings by questioning them about the meaning of their communication.

• As you become more skilled you will gain an understanding of the client’s feelings from:

their use of feelings-based words

their body language

their physical reactions to words

their use of metaphoric words and expressions

their use of feelings-based imagery

Here are some things to think about and maybe try out through role playing with someone you know.

• Speak about something of personal importance to you.

• Have the listener start to look in a bag or look away and appear distracted.

How do you, the speaker, feel as this is happening?

What do you do or say?

What is happening to you, the listener, during this time?

What are your feelings?

Note the difference between rapport building and rapport breaking.

• Continue talking as the listener stares directly into the speaker’s eyes.

How do you, the speaker, feel as this is happening?

What do you do or say?

What is happening to you, the listener, during this time?

What are your feelings?

Note the difference between rapport building and rapport breaking.

• Continue talking as the listener maintains healthy eye contact.

How do you, the speaker, feel as this is happening?

What do you do or say?

What is happening to you, the listener, during this time?

What are your feelings?

Note the difference between rapport building and rapport breaking.